Update: thanks for the firm blows to the head, you know who you are. While I could still be wrong, ultimately the “RSA thing” probably boils down to “(3+a)” and “(2+b)” are just stand-ins for the factors, and therefore all this is showing is that Wolfram Alpha is REALLY GOOD at factoring even somewhat long numbers.
Yes, I really am THAT BAD at math that I didn’t catch this at first, and stumbled blindly into the “there must be some magic interaction between 3, 2, and the RSA algorithm!” cognitive trap.
*bangs head against desk*
THIS IS WHY I DON’T DO CONSPIRACY LINKS… EVIL MIND VIRUS. BEGONE.
Yes, I know it’s like shooting fish in a barrel… stop laughing…