AES Is Probably Toast (and Wikileaks/Cryptome/Snowdenleaks, CryptoCat fundraiser)

Tune in next week? Hah! When I compared Wikileaks & Cryptome yesterday to a soap opera… I WAS KIDDING. GUYS, JOHN, JULIAN, IF YOU’RE SOMEHOW READING THIS… IT WAS A JOKE… NOT AN INSTRUCTION!

On the upside, for those of you who like popcorn, grab a big fistful and enjoy the show.

First, Julian Assange is going to be… a catwalk model at the London Fashion Week, as Ben Westwood is doing a special show inside the Ecuadorian Embassy.[1] I believe this sets new heights on the WTF-O-Meter.

Second, JYA appears to have either gone completely off the rails, or gone off them so far he came around again and he’s now more sane than the rest of us. No, I don’t mean this in general… in a cryptic series of tweets [2] he’s made allusions to a “war” beginning in July unless it’s “headed off” by a full release of all the Snowden documents.

And he claims that this leak is indeed going to happen, somewhere around HOPE X, and that (while he’s not going to be doing it solo) he’ll be helping. (Earlier tweets, now deleted, stated this would happen because the Snowden document holders had made operational security mistakes, and/or had set up “dead man switch” copies of the documents to leak en masse.)

At the very least, if Cryptome ends up hosting Snowden documents, his Kickstarter will probably get funded in a hurry.

(Speaking of Kickstarters — since it seems that these days everyone’s gotta have one? — Cryptocat also just announced their Kickstarter, looking to implement all kinds of stuff… most notably encrypted VIDEO chat, so there’s finally a good Skype replacement. [3])

Alright…

With that out of the way…

Germany’s three largest intelligence services are the BND, the BfV, and BILD. Of these three, only the last reports to the public. Since the public doesn’t usually read dry bureaucratese, BILD’s intelligence is delivered in the form of a lurid broadsheet newspaper sold on every street corner, complete with scandalous headlines and topless, busty women inside.

(Europeans don’t consider nipples a sin worse than murder.)

According to the latest information [5] from BILD’s counterintelligence department, the NSA is still more than capable of listening to German chancellor Angela Merkel’s “secure” Merkelphone. They are easily able to do this despite unspecified changes which the manufacturer made in the wake of Merkelphonegate.

As it happens, I’ve checked and the defining feature of these phones is… they use AES-128 for their encryption.

Now, BILD had previously reported that the NSA was capable of breaking the “secure Merkelphone” (which is used for secure communications by many German government agencies) [4]. Assuming their information was right, the company which makes the phone almost certainly took that tip and went over the thing with a fine-tooth comb. Made in Germany means quality, dammit!

But now this.

Let’s figure the phones were made to a decent standard… and at least as of a few years ago the Stasi’s cryptographers were working as “contractors” for the German information-security agency, those guys are GOOD. That means there’s only one glaring hole here that the NSA would probably be exploiting.

AES!

[1]
http://www.cnet.com/news/julian-assange-fashion-model/
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/julian-assange-wikileaks-founder-to-make-modelling-debut-at-london-fashion-week-as-catwalk-show-comes-to-ecuadorian-embassy-9564155.html

[2]
https://twitter.com/Cryptomeorg/status/483585408832249856
July is when war begins unless headed off by Snowden full release of crippling intel. After war begins not a chance of release.

https://twitter.com/Cryptomeorg/status/483587139783753728
Repost: Only way war can be avoided. Warmongerers are on a rampage. So, yes, citizens holding Snowden docs will do the right thing.

https://twitter.com/Cryptomeorg/status/483587535642169345
Nope, but will aid and abet: “So it appears @Cryptomeorg are due to release all Snowden docs in July to ward-off an unspecified US war.”

https://twitter.com/Cryptomeorg/status/483582827691118593
July Spy Syzygy: HOPE Anti-Spy July 18-20; Aspen Pro-Spy July 23-26; Cryptome Kick-Spy ends July 27. During July all Snowden docs released.

https://twitter.com/Cryptomeorg/status/483585139318878211
For more on Snowden docs release in July watch for Ellsberg, special guest and others at HOPE, July 18-20: http://www.hope.net/schedule.html

https://twitter.com/Cryptomeorg/status/483568842698797057
News to us that “Cryptome is Publish All Remaining Edward Snowden Documents in July.” If true, we dance in the aisle like GG and Laura.

[3] https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/504595646/cryptocat-private-instant-messaging-for-everyone

[4]
http://www.bild.de/politik/inland/spionage/obama-billigt-lauschangriff-auf-merkel-33140378.bild.html

[5]
http://www.n-tv.de/politik/Ist-Merkels-Krypto-Handy-wieder-geknackt-article13116171.html
http://www.bild.de/bild-plus/politik/inland/angela-merkel/angela-merkels-neues-handy-nicht-abhoersicher-36588246,view=conversionToLogin.bild.html

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